I consider myself healthy. I don’t have hypertension or diabetes or heart disease or cancer. My cholesterol is good. I have no autoimmune diseases. I rarely get colds. But these days I feel as though I’m being nibbled to death by ducks.
Starting with a throat condition that made me have to stop singing, progressing through chronic neck pain and headaches that limit reading, driving, computer work, and sitting at any events such as classes, social occasions or concerts, I’ve been making life-style adjustments for years. I feel like an idiot carrying a pillow into a restaurant, but if I don’t prop myself up to sit very straight, I’ll have a headache by the end of the meal.
The older I get the more of this small stuff goes wrong. For tango dancing I now wear bunion-sparing sneakers with dance socks over them rather than gorgeous tango shoes. I started walking more for exercise, only to come down with that no-good-deed-goes-unpunished condition, plantar fasciitis.
And now that unkindest cut; parosmia has stolen the joy from my life’s central theme: food. Coupled with shorter days, this last blow has brought depression knocking at my door.
I was thinking about all this as I was working out in the yard today, wondering how to write about these minor but mounting travails without seeming like too much of a whiner. Frowning over the problem, I suddenly felt the sun on the side of my face, accompanied by a soft warmth.
This made my face relax, which in turn made my whole body loosen. A quiet joy visited me for a few moments. I was able to recall that I was in my wonderful yard, with a dog I love, mulching with leaves I had collected with my husband one fun fall morning, creating rich soil for the spring.
And the sun was shining.
Part of my work in appreciating the joys and minimizing the sorrows of life is to exercise, meditate, eat well, and socialize. I’ve been doing the best I can with each of these efforts. Perhaps, though, I need to add one more item.
The parosmia makes me grimace a lot, because many things (like coffee brewing) smell bad to me. I need to remember to “feel the sun on my face”, and unsquinch.