What’s the difference?

Cucumbers, growing on an old CD rack, are dying. Queen Anne's lace is a weed but it feeds the pollinators.
Cucumbers, growing on an old CD rack, are dying. Queen Anne’s lace is a weed but it feeds the pollinators.

Blogger simplelivingover50.com (I shall call him Tom) is a very different person from me. He’s into power work-outs, measuring his biceps, and eating meat. I suspect he has a secret yen to drag his woman into his cave by the hair to ravish her (only with her consent, of course — Tom is a nice guy.) I want to be lithe and aerobically fit so I can hike, garden and dance. He weighs himself daily. I weigh myself seldom, at random.

Tom’s garden pictures show wide boards creating perfectly rectangular raised beds, with a neat two-inch border around them where the carefully manicured lawn dares not tread. My garden looks like a mash-up of an abandoned tomato patch, some hummocks of compost, and a weedy lawn. Tom is Mr Paleo; I’m Ms Vegan.

My husband Ed and I just returned from a visit to his mom in Iowa. My mother-in-law and I are also quite different.  When you look up “mid-westerner” in the dictionary, you’ll find her picture. Mine is likely in the Brattleboro, Vermont section.

As I ponder my differences with these two people, I realize that we have one very important thing in common: we all have food issues. All three of us are addicted to simple carbohydrates, and we all sometimes eat in secret.

Tom had an event in his car (http://simplelivingover50.com/2015/06/23/the-tale-of-the-scone/) that I completely related to. At my mother-in-law’s house, I walked into the kitchen one evening to find her standing up with her back to me, eating a piece of cake.

At home I don’t have to eat in secret. My husband never makes snarky remarks or nags. If he has any judgmental feelings, he has managed to keep them to himself for 22 years. But when I am in someone else’s home, I maintain a secret stash of goodies to eat in my room after the household has gone to bed.

I feel an affinity with these two folks. We all want to eat better, we all love treats, we all struggle.

But in addition, I think we have a more profound thing in common.

My mother-in-law talks about herself a lot. Tom and I blog, which is a way of talking about ourselves a lot. Each of us wants to be heard, to be understood, to be accepted.

And oh yeah…to be thinner.

Perhaps you do too. I’d love to read your comments. Join me!

Goal for next week:

The “eat breakfast at the table” habit needs more glue, so I am going to make it this week’s goal as well. And I’m reinforcing previous commitments in case I start forgetting:

  • Ensure the availability of prepped fruits/veggies at all times
  • Include fruit/vegetable with every meal or snack
  • Prepare two thermoses of water/tea daily with breakfast
  • Eat breakfast at the table
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4 thoughts on “What’s the difference?

  1. I love Josie’s garden. I walked out the front door last night and I felt like Dorothy seeing Emerald City for the first time.

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  2. Thanks for the post. I look forward to each new one. I’ve not had the food issue you mentioned this week, but I can identify with trying to develop new habits. Being in a new place has got me thinking about new ways of doing things to change my life for the better. One thing I’m trying to implement is dealing with mail, filing stuff and making calls to deal with “personal administration” on a timely basis. I’ve done pretty well this week. If I can just keep it up……..

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  3. Oh I totally hear you! The only way I get what I call “Office” done is to do it with my husband. Especially anything having to do with insurance! You deserve a giant pat on the back!

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